While we discuss the way the different accessory kinds fare in relationships with one another within my guide (Bad Boyfriends: making use of Attachment Theory in order to avoid Mr. (or Ms.) incorrect), i did sonâ€™t get into great information, mostly as the guide is fond of those wanting to get in to a relationship, maybe not those attempting to cope with one they have. But we see there is certainly interest that is great utilizing accessory concept and kinds to try and guide hard relationships to an even more safe and satisfying pattern, therefore hereâ€™s my (often speculative) just just just take for each combination kind:
Safe with Secure:
These partners may well have other dilemmas (addiction, distinctions over cash and spending, fairy-tale objectives), but from the entire since they will be both Secure, they have a tendency to communicate well and donâ€™t end in the dysfunctional interaction habits as much. Having their particular interior feeling of protection makes them less self-centered, and permits greater empathy for his or her partnerâ€™s feelings. A feeling of reasonableness and fairness makes every presssing problem they face a little simpler to face together, and relying upon one another is more usually rewarded.
The Preoccupied one will test the persistence for the safe one by requiring more communications of reassurance and edging toward anxiety once the safe one canâ€™t respond quickly or reassuringly. Continue reading